But He’s a Nice Guy…

The award for most strategic use of a hotel towel goes to…

Some of the profiles one comes across on Tinder, Bumble, Hinge and the others are enough to make even the most extroverted person blush.

For the first “Richard pic” of this site, only a true dick pic would suffice. And this one takes the cake — or the towel.

David isn’t looking for a hookup, ya’ll. He is “looking for something serious.” “Serious,” like towel over his junk serious.

Were there no other photo options available? The standard shirtless pic wouldn’t cut it? Was his thought process for forgoing the typical profile photos something like this:

“Photo with my mom? Nope.”

“Playing with my nieces and nephews? Nah.”

”A shot of me smiling on the peak of a random mountain after hiking it with five of my best guy friends, all looking like GQ models fresh off a shoot for the Setpember issue? Wouldn’t work.”

”I know what will make me stand out: my erect penis under a tea towel.”


If these are the options, let’s all remain single forever.